Heavy Stuff

Heavy Stuff...First the light...I will say that NASCAR Weekend Extravaganza (EVERYTHING I do seems to be an "Extravaganza"...) was incredible. I won't go into the "boring, sordid" details but if you were inside my head you would have had a good time! Facebook documents the awesomeness...

but it was all overshadowed by death and extreme sadness...Michael's brother killed himself on Friday night. My heart shattered watching the aftermath of such a horrible tragic event. I cried for the family, I cried for all the people I love that could be taken away in minutes. I cried because I love my own family so much and I cried because I thought about Nate passing away and never resolving our issues or telling him he was my best friend in the whole world. And I cried because the faith I used to have is weak. My faith that was shattered by the hurt and pain of the world and shattered by religion. I did what I always do in times of tragedy, I prayed. Even though my views of things have changed, I have never stopped praying or stopped believing. But times like these make it hard for me to not be angry at God. No family, especially the Zdinaks should ever have to be in that much pain. Watching my dear friend go through such massive tragedy...words are just not doing any sort of justice to this situation right now. Just know its tragic...and horrible. Anna's Dad, Tom Overmeyer, Julie Benken, my Mom's best friend, Mikey's nephew, now Michael's brother...this school year can be over ANY TIME NOW. Death is one avenue of life I will never understand...

Smackdown on "The View" and NASCAR Weekend

This morning Z and I were watching Headline news on CNN when they briefly mentioned the fight Rosie and Elisabeth had on "The View" two days ago. This, of course, roused my curiosity (for I LOVE a good cat fight) and looked up the clip on YouTube (Oh the beauty of technology). Needless to say, I was not disappointed. I have always loved Rosie's outspoken, opinionated nature not to mention the fact that we share the same birthday, so I couldn't help but be on her side. I don't watch that show very much, but Elisabeth strikes me as sort of a whiny airhead. Most commentary on this issue thus far has mostly been political, but my two cents pretty much are cents of PURE JOY. I LOVE when celebrities fight, I think it is the most human and raw thing they can do for us. Elisabeth and Rosie were all personal and ridiculous on national tv. That is about as real as we get sometimes. I'm sure I have some political feelings on the subject if I reach way deep down but why ruin my good fun on a day like today?

Today, my step-dad comes down from F-town to get ready for our trip down south to Charlotte, North Carolina for this weekends Coca-Cola 600 At Lowes Motor Speedway. Lowes is one of my favorite tracks, 1.5 miles and 24 degree banking of Quad-oval goodness. I've been watching NASCAR for 9 years and this will be my first-ever real race. I'll be armed with a camera, a 40 of Bud and some good southern BBQ to truly live the experience of "hick". I'll be leaving at the crack o' dawn so happy Memorial Day weekend ya'll!

Revelation

As I sit here having overslept until about 11:30 AM, eating a bowl of popcorn and drinking koolaid while debating if I actually want to take a shower before work.......I have realized, I am truly a college student. A lazy, un-healthy, stinky college student. Who may have to start prostituting herself to pay rent. Ahh the good life. This weekend will truly rock...going to Charlotte for a NASCAR race. WOOTY WOOT

Reruns of "The Wonder Years" makes me all nostalgic inside...

We had Dr. Tim do a clinic today here at UC...even though I've seen him 6 times, I still enjoy him every time. He makes me feel like I could touch the sky "if I wanted to". I'm pissed at myself for not writing more life-changing and cataclysmic-ly deep posts like Brooke. Maybe nothing life-changing has happened lately and those lack of experiences has numbed my writing a bit...not that I'm not thankful for the calm and simple things in life. I spent the better part of my first half of college (I'm half-way WHAA?) in total and complete chaos and there seems to be nothing wrong with a little calm seas now and again. I did simple things and enjoyed them this weekend...so that's ok. I spent Friday night inside still feeling sick. I drank tea and caught up on TV. I even watched a movie which I NEVER get to do. Saturday morning, I went to uniform inventory over in the band room (simple yet oh so complex) and worked for a bit. Anna and I went to Myra's for lunch (BEST vegetarian restaurant EVER) and I enjoyed some Spiced Apple Rum juice. Took a nap. Got ready for my KKPsi little brother's wedding. I looked pretty and enjoyed my time with my brothers and sisters in the pews causing a ruckus. I watched my darling little brother marry his darling girl and drank many drinks at the reception...resulting in my drunken dancing on the floor with a tie around my head.
Wore Red's hat backwards, sunglasses at night, and my bare feet out the window singing rap songs down I471 at the top of our lungs. I also hung out of the sunroof. Went to the Sigma Sigma Carnival than Euclid Manor to spend more time with friends I never seem to have time to hang out with anymore. They make me laugh until my tummy aches. Got 4 hours of sleep, but that's ok...went to more uniform inventory this morning. Went to a leadership clinic. We had to place ourselves into four leadership groups: Amiable, Analytical, Expressive, and Directing. Phil, Crunch and I were three of the very few in "Expressive" and it made me appreciate them more than I have in a long time. (We ARE Two Guys, a Girl, and a Romanian Restaurant.) Went to Eden Park for the SAX picnic where I tossed a ball around, chased some ducks and ate a hot dog. In between all of those things, I thought about the Rockstar and smiled a bit because that's how it works. This whole weekend was very beautiful. Good times. Good thoughts. Good people.Life is good.

3 AM, I Must Be Lonely

So it is 3 AM and even though I am exhausted and feel like someone hit me with a very large 16-wheel vehicle...I'm still up. I managed to get my sorry ass to the concert tonight though I only lasted two songs before someone chucked a rock at my head my sinuses felt like they were going to explode out of my face...so I got to watch the rest of the concert I'm supposed to be playing in from the seats...not a happy camper, but what can ya do. Life is about choices, man. Grey's Anatomy....well. My DVR didn't record the last 10 minutes which apparently was the meat of the episode...Anna, Z, and I looked up the ending on Wikipedia because we were DYING to know what happened and of course, there were two words about the first 50 minutes and maybe a book for the last 10. I HAVE to see it now because how in the world did all that happen in a very small, limited amount of time. I can't breathe. My face hurts. My head hurts. Everything hurts. Going to force myself to sleep because if not, I will be no good to anyone for the next few days...and oh the weekend is not for relaxing this time around. Blech.

After searching for countless hours on end since last evening, I FINALLY got to see the end of Grey's...it was good. But man, weddings and romance and stuff...gets me teary-eyed. I HATE crying at that kind of stuff, but I can't help it even though its ridiculously fake. I hate watching my favorite characters break-up...but I love that these shows, as cliche and ridiculous as they may be, give you an ounce of hope that someday your life will be romantic and magical and someone will chase after you...Ok I'm done being mushy... Long weekend ahead...Little Bro is getting married tomorrow in KY, Sunday-Uniform inventory, CBLC, Sax Picnic...I don't have time to be mushy and romantic

SICK

SICK...Ridiculously sick...on the day of our concert...where I have important stuff to play....great.This isn't even "oh I don't feel well" sick; this is "my head is going to explode if I don't freeze to death first even though my temp is high" sick...I get sort of sick pretty often but this real kind of sick is very rare for me...my ears are ringing, my temp is up even though I'm achy and have the chills...and I have 5 hours to get better for the concert...oye. Bed...I suppose.

Basket Weaving Anyone?

*Sigh* It has been one of those days when I just want to be DONE WITH SCHOOL and go off traveling or weaving baskets in Hawaii to earn my keep or just become a frickin stay-at-home mom with a husband and kids. ANYTHING but here in this place. Summer, where for art thou???On a more positive note, we celebrated Amanda's birthday today. Brittany and I took her to the Hofbrauhaus for some frickin awesome German food (I even had beer, go me) and then of course Murphy's on Mondays where the drink was aplenty as were the laughs. So, that did help a little. This weekend was just one of those weekends that was crazy and fun and dysfunctional. Nothing more need be told.

Post-it's...saying it loud.

Josh

You came down this weekend

And suffered through formal

And the zoo

With horrible, horrible allergies.

Thank you for doing that for me.

And for getting me past the rockIn Resident Evil 4...

I was ready to give up on that.

Moozie

I came home todayAll the way from Cincy

To surprise you For Mother's Day/Your Birthday

I even called you

Two minutes before I walked through the door

To fake you out.

You almost had a heart attack.

But the tears in your eyes

Made the 40 bucks on gasTotally worth it.

Besides...Grams and Mike helped pay for it.

Diego

Stop pooping

On the side of the frickin cage.

You have a litter box.

Guy who cut me off

And almost caused an accident

Today, you're lucky I was riding high

From a kiss and decided not to chase you down.

Random Racoon on my Apartment landing

You attacked me when I walked through the door

I screamed really loudlyand did a weird dance

You did the same.

When you finally got past me

You looked over your shoulder as if to say

"What is your problem?"

I threw a rock at you

Because I don't appreciate your lip.

University of Cincinnati

Bite me.

I'm exhausted and tired

and need it to be summer

because so much emotion has

gone into this past year

it's time to relax my mind

and take a break

(if you call working in the band office 40 hours a weeka break...)

Summer Goals

With my intense emotions, ridiculous random predicaments (like the one this past weekend), and my never-ending schedule of business, I have had NO time to do the things I love to do...such as work on this blog/new blog. I wanted to move all my old posts to the archives at my new blog but that IS. A. BIG. PROJECT. This will have to wait until the summer. I've poured 5 years into this Xanga and I'd hate to lose all the things I written about. But that is a LOT of posts to transfer one at a time. Every weekend is filled with crap to do, I'll be officially president of TBS in two weeks so I'm trying to frantically learn all I can, and the boy is awesome but being far away makes this a time consuming task. I wish I could post every day with lots of wisdom and witty banter, but alas, my life has spiraled out of control once more and I have no time to do that which I love...spew random nonsense daily on xanga.
This summer, I'm going to get my frickin life back on track as much as possible. Hence, The Summer List of Things to Do:
1. Read more frickin books- I have recently discovered the amazement that is amazon.com...you can buy books on there for like 50 cents!!! So of course, I've been purchasing mass books but have no time to read them because when you're an english major, there's no time to read what you actually want to read
2. Run- I need some sort of physical project to work on. Something that does not require me to need the rec for 85 dollars this summer. I was actually at Eden Park a few weeks ago and jogged around the fountain and though I am SO horribly out of shape, I rather enjoyed it. I think it would be something good for me to get into and it would give me something to focus on physically. (This requires me to get up early when it's not so hot and to actually get off my butt and run around...we'll see how this one pans out)
3. Play my harmonicas- I started playing harmonica back in March and in order to be any good just like a regular instrument, I need to play more. So I just need to buckle down and do it. It relaxes me and its one of my favorite blues instruments. Just like running, we'll see how this pans out.
4. CLEAN MY ROOM- And I don't just mean pick up the dirty clothes...complete and full overhaul of everything. I am making myself give away anything I haven't used in the past year, I am probably going to downsize the ferret cage because they just don't need that much space, organize everything so it has it's own place and clean the carpet/fan/furniture while buying curtains for my window and organizing my desk. I will make correct use of my filing cabinet rather than just using it for storage. I will fix all the wiring behind my desk and I am probably going to buy a new compy. This is the summer project that NEEDS TO BE DONE if I am to survive any more years at college.
5. Yoga! - Anna and I were going to do 3 months at the Yoga Garage on Ludlow this past spring but because of unfortunate circumstances for both of us, we decided to hold off til the summer. I have a perfectly good mat that needs to be used and I think this will balance out my chi a little bit
6. Cedar Point- For someone who used to get a pass every frickin summer, I definitely ended up slacking...I haven't been there in two years. It's time.
7. Visit friends more often- I owe visits to EVERYONE.
8. Fix all Financial- I need a budget BADLY. I need to balance my checkbook BADLY. And I need to make money BADLY. 'Nuff said.
9. Be healthier...just a little bit- I can't keep eating and being the way I've been. I want to do a detox this summer for a few days and try to eat better overall. I'll have more time to cook and pack lunches and stop buying junk food. This will also help me with money as well.
10. Get organized- self-explanatory.

So we'll see how all this goes. At least I have some goals for myself?

This Weekend

Amount of miles driven: Approx 600
Amount of money spent on gas: 85 dollars
Cities I was in: Cincinnati, Toledo, Fremont, Cleveland, Columbus
Hours of sleep Saturday night: 3
Colleges I passed (I was curious): UC, University of Dayton, Baldwin-Wallace, Ohio Northern, Bowling Green State, University of Toledo, Case-Western University, Wooster College, Ashland University, Ohio Wesleyan University, Ohio State University
BUT

When PSR opened his eyes at the sound of my voice grabbed my hand and squeezed it even though he couldn't speak...it made the entire trip completely worth it. If you want details about his condition, call me. He'll be allowed to have visitors in about 2-3 weeks